Creation beyond visuals, language beyond words.

Sharing in this section a selection of explorations that live in between the lines – where I attempt to process experiences, thoughts and questions that visit the several levels of our human existence.

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My heart belongs to the daydreamers

for they don’t follow reason but their soul
and yet their minds are restlessly racing
around not what is but what could be
intuitively ignore frontiers of pre-conceived truths
and so is what’s not yet
and a whole world exists
in a flood out of yous.

The world belongs to the daydreamers
For they live a hundred lives
by their openness to treating each option
as the first blank page and allow their minds
to walk a little alongside the unseen
for what would a life be livable for if not from within?

why demand to be mindful while we’re already full
should I mind what’s not mine when reality itself is a concept of mind
and if it exists inside ain’t it heretofore true?
if believing in dreams
even confuse them with truth
is foolish
then with my world, with my sea full of seens
let me be the fool.

I feel like a garden

Kept lean for too long
- Beautiful, but same same –

Slowly growing its wildflowers back
One by one
You make me bloom.

Unhaltered stream of thoughts on randomness

You might not know it yet
But I got a list of
Things I came across,
Places I’d like to visit,
Topics I’d like to discuss,
With you.

I might not share them yet,
But there’s
A good amount of
Posts saved
Recipes bookmarked
German words
And jokes you might like
For you

I might never send them
But they are there
Because they reminded me of you
– You, that beautiful surprise I am still learning to understand
– You, that someone I think way too much of and feel far too good when doing so
You, priorily insignificant stranger,
I suddenly and strongly want you to know:
Though they might never come true
There are thoughts
Sometimes carrying me into sleep
Or appearing randomly when discussing
Irrelevant things during a meet
There are ideas
And glimpses of inspiration
And dreams
Due to you

And there are moments
Saved as options
In the vast depths of life’s randomness, the universe’s plan, destiny’s threads – However you like to look at the world
Just for the two of us
And still
We might never experience them

There are feelings I don’t know yet
You’ll provoke in me
And me in you
And ain’t it funny
Both a tad mysterious and exciting
And maybe a bit scary
That we have no idea yet of how they’ll actually be?
Like, which version will become true
Or why all of this happened
Crossing paths for a moment
Or a while
And hopefully at least in a matter that
Leaves its marks, makes you feel alive
That will somehow stay, be it in minds or in hearts
And in its own way is a once in a lifetime
‘Cause
You the way you are today
And me the way I happen to be
With all that’s become mine
Exactly right now
And in this specific constellation
Is unique
In time
And type and matter
To us.
May it be for the better.

And may it maybe last.

Blooming together

Nowadays I really don’t have issues with other people… blooming
The more art there is, the more colorful life becomes

Cause in the end
Ain’t we all one?

In the want or desire
To see ourselves in each other
And feel the warmth or the fire
And bear the burden
Together
So we stop worrying or bother
And fight the fear of feelings
Of being alone out here
And separate of another
So be prepared for the seeming
That we’re not isolate
Like the ice we create
To protect our heart
When in the hidden part
Or the clear
Honesty of art
We’re feeling beings.
And being true to our feelings
Or at least free of hate
We may seem different or with distinct fate
And you may tell us apart
Like one tells the weather
Not really precise but predictable thus
And though we may not all flock
Like birds of a feather
In the face of truth and in life
Maybe death and in art
We’re one
And we win
together.

Chasing fate is a guessing game

Like, tell me, what are the odds
Dans ce jeu du hasard
Choix, effet ou coincidence
De trouver
quelque part
même sans vraiment le chercher
Ou chercher même le contraire
Similaire trajectoire ?

Les mêmes références
Les mêmes doutes
Reconnues
Les mêmes cris en silence
Qui résonnent d’un passé
Exprimé en voix douce
Ou réfugié dans son art ?

On s’est vue qu’une seul fois
et ça peut bien être de la projection
Mais
Il est vrai que
Je me vois un peu en toi
En tes pensées, convictions
Défis posés par la vie
Recherches d’en faire quelque sens
En ta façon d’être
Tes espoirs
En tes sons
préférés, références.

Possiblement tes cauchemars et traumas qui te mettent en état de vigilance permanente.

Et, oui, effectivement, je ne sais pas si je suis prête
J’en ai d’autres histoires
Qui finissent tous plus tôt ou tard
en des mémoires, questionnements
d’apprentissages et en « je l’regrette »s

On m’a dis que ce sont des preuves de l’univers, avec lesquelles on apprend
(grandis)
Que ça fait partie de l’expérience humaine,
de la vie.

Et, pourtant,
je ne peux pas m’empêcher de voir
qu’ après tout
tout ce temps,
Parmi tous ces miroirs, lesquels la vie m’amène
Dans sa plupart flous
Images, représentant que quelques facettes
de moi
On dirais que…
celui-ci semble plus clair
Presque comme l’eau qui s’arrête
pour quelques instants
après plusieurs vagues et tempêtes

Et j’avoue que…ça me fait peur
Parfois
Cette calme soudaine, et d’être si près d’une… essence ?
Si près de moi ?

Et je me demande si—
Est-ce que c’est vrai que–
Le noir
Si on le subit
On l’accepte
de le porter aussi un peu en soi
Est-ce que c’est vrai que
Si l’on reste
malgré ce poids
ou peut-être même
à cause de celui-là

Things might slowly light up
And you’ll start seeing some stars ?

Est-ce qu’ au moins cet espoir
Il peut être un départ ? Quelque part, ensemble ou à part – life is a guessing game and its ruler:

Le hasard.

Discorde de mim

Me corrija
Me pegue com jeito
Tenha papinho e certeza
Me dê esperança – mas mantenha um mistério
Juntos beiramos o que não deve ser feito
Eu quero teu bobo e teu sério
Sincera a mente
O brilho no olho
E as nuances da gente
Brincando de novo
Pois viver é gostoso
Ainda mais no presente da presência de quem entende
porque já presenciou
Como fácil se perde o que fácil ganhou
Aprendeu a dar valor
E não dar tudo de si
Só no nome do amor
Ou por qualquer coisa que por aí encontrou
Sabe o peso do bem também e o bem do senhor
e no fundo e com tudo sabe que é ganhador
Papo reto com a vida
E torto o sorriso
Ver os outros feliz é um presente
Seja todo seu – e da gente
No balanço
Entre o arrepio e o seguro, Me encontre
Dançando, sambando
De pé sujo
Errando damos certo
Simplesmente pelo encanto
De puxar o cabelo e pra perto
Pra eu descobrir de pouquinho em pouquinho
Seus cantos diversos, seu relevo, suas ruas
Enquanto escuta meus versos escreve poesias suas
Discorde de mim
Acordes são feitos em harmonia
Tire minha roupa e se vista de verdades nuas
Eu quero te ver
E que descubra meu interno
E desculpa falar
Mas o que mais quero é te manter inteiro
Então nunca me negue o que é meu
Mas também não se entregue
Ao nível de me sobrar
Só eu

(Sozinha eu não saberia te amar
Nem sentir o nervoso gostoso ao te falar.)

Mas ai sou do vento
E da lua
E do mar

E prezando em vez da posse o encontro
E o leve
E a luz
E o paciente encanto
Só fico aonde
O destino desejar.

Cause baby I'm noone's
But the wind's
And the seas’
And the moon's in a late summer
August night's breeze
And while instead of belonging
I'd rather just meet
I'll live lightly
Enlightened
By destiny's lead.

Libertés

Tu vois,
tu m’réponds quand tu veux,
t’écouteras pas de plaintes.
Je n’suis pas de la sorte de te dire qui
y l-est
à part de toi dans ma vie
pour me rendre intéressante .
Je m’en fous des autres
et avec qui tu passes tes nights.
Tu sors avec qui tu veux, je m’en fiche.
De toute façon j’ai capté ta vibe
dès le premier rencontre:
On se voit, on se voit pas,
on discute, on partage, on voit où ça nous mènera.

Par contre
si
tu veux que je te cache de bien se comprendre
que ça me fait du plaisir de passer du temps avec toi
Parce que c’est trop tôt
De que je crois
ressentir quelque chose
en te regardant dans les yeux
Parce que t’as peur que ce truc s’en va
si on en profite trop
Ou parce que tu veux qu’on se joue des jeux
Et t’aime l’incertitude à tout coût

Dans tout cas, Là
C’est parce t’es de ces hommes qui occupent qu’une chapitre dans ma vie
Et qui croient
d’avoir besoin de libertés
Avant de se perdre dans l’ennuie
Lorsqu’ils sont ses propres prisonniers

Là c’est où je dois
avouer
Merci, j’en ai qu’un seul livre
Et ce genre de pages, d’amours courts, des amants qui courent, des histoires ivres
Des baiser-volés sur de diverses plages au sud
Ce genre de pages
ils sont déjà remplis
De quand j’étais moins sage
De quand moi aussi je me croyais libre
Dans ma propre cage.

Après, qu’est-ce que tu me dis ?

Stop. Don’t stop the rain

I neeeeed to stop this All these references that keep making me feeeel?!? This and that and then, do you remember? I mean, I was curious before, but this? This must not happennnn –

or should I just taste a bit of every piece of it even though and despite all odds because wow how time flies by I want to see so very clearly be so close and with all the fleeting things feel so very deeply all the first ones all the insecurity the uncertainty around the maybes, then the finallys and actuallys the discoveries oh the discoveries! piece by piece becoming significant I don’t only want the full collection once it says something and seems worth to look at or safe I want the piece by piece of it like every little drop of a starting summer rain I want to smell it drip and drain and occupy space bit by bit I want to taste it on my lip and feel it running down my neck I want to get so wet let me merge and forget while it’s all so fleeting ever flowing so unique can you taste it, too? I want to taste it with you on you off you and take it all in without asking if it’ll last do you ask the storm if it does do you ask the summer is it even special if it lasts so let me be here let me put down my guards and allow the pouring energy of the present moment numb all my senses and sharpen them all the same and don’t let me get lost in words I want to get lost in the undefined become unlimited and intertwined with all we share right now and all that runs through my thoughts is are you here with me now?
Breathe.
Time is just a concept far away
Let’s hold the moment
And if you want I stay
The only pressure is the pull between our eyes that keeps me here
I stay let’s breathe
Until you feel it too
I want to feel it with you

Paris in June

Imprints of Jasmine

And in my mind

Jashmim

Because my Paris is verde e amarelo

E como toda primavera

Sei que isso também vai passar

Mas até lá

Sigo me intoxicando

Como se eu não soubesse disso

Or maybe exactly because of that

And because I speak delusions

Fluently

And in Paris

They’re still alive

In June.

The winds of time on the bookshelf

And still you touch me as if loving
Hold me as if we belonged
You have as much fear of words as you love them
Long for precision
Can hardly be wronged
Yet in face of decision
Meaning remains undefined

Maybe I am a bit of a word for you, too
Though I feel you’d rather have me unprecise, a vision?
Collecting potential, a story in sight
Ideas, a clipping, an option in mind

Maybe novels scare you once they stop being new…

And since I am a sucker for phantasy
I just pretend it’s alright
Under your spell
Just as long as you need me to
Tied tight to lips that almost tell
I’ll join that suspended reality
Where we somewhat try
Temporarily
Until it becomes too real to be true
And, consistence denied,
I’ll pick up the draft you left, somewhere in time
Empty and blind,
Store the blurred page on the shelves
Next to others of their kind
Stories untold, unfinished tales that seemed real for a while
While I am playing but myself.

Falando sobre flores

Colhidas
Antes mesmo de encontrar a luz do dia
Tons de cinza temem cores
Perdidas
Em profundos escuros

Sons esquecidos
Viraram teus cantos
Potencial pra sempre
Nunca permitido
Espelho ofuscado
Difuso
Afogando
Afunde

Envolto por mares
Mas com sede
Turvo
Silencio
Uma vida, escondido

Nunca aceito um suficiente
Buscando o próprio infinito
Dispersou-se tudo
Postergado pro fim dos tempos
Todo bonito.

To love

also means loving their light to shine
no matter how it makes you look like
you don’t even spend a thought on that

because if they shine
everything becomes bright
everything turns light
once you love other’s lighting up
you too shine inside.

Unfruitful soil

I told you you made me feel like a garden
You looked the other way as if wildflowers scared you

I stay by it: You make me bloom.
Maybe more like a raven who spreads the seeds out of hunger for sweet fruit

I told you: You inspire me to grow.
But your indifference’s glance never rested upon my leafs
Nor would you care to stop by and linger
Instead your cold winds would blow
In proud walk you’d step upon the tender greens
And no matter how shy, my blossoming seemed to cast too big of a shadow
Opposed to your frequent visits of neighboring fields
Your anxiety would draw you to southern lands, no matter how desertified
And no matter how empty they’d leave your hands
While your envy’s streams slowly poisoned me from within

Maybe you didn’t like gardens anyhow
Well, the good thing is what I grew are wildflowers
And upon unfruitful conditions
They withdraw into themselves
Until warmer winds blow
And reliant only upon water and light
They grow

In the absence of spectators.

Maybe the reason

We shouldn’t love only spring
We should love through all seasons
No matter the grey days it might bring
And the wind and the freezing
Maybe love time god art is the reason
There’ll always be colors within
And always
Hope for spring.

Fear dims (working title)

You told me my joy wasn’t a real emotion
You’d claim my love was but a mask

And piece by piece
Left with but my heavy heart

I’d believe you
And loose my spark.

‍ ‍

Alex bei Nacht…
Es irren so viele
Verwirrte hier

Und während sie rastlos rennen,
scheinen sie doch alle irgendwo gefangen.

Und ob die S-Bahn wie tausend Geister kreischt
So rührt der Schauer doch eher von der erdrückenden Frage,

wie manch so ein Leben entgleist.

Ich muss sie verbannen

Ich möchte sie halten
Wie sie mich hielten im Bann

Damit ich doch selbst wenn ich mich
verliere, irgendwann

Festhalten kann
Möchte den Verlust selbst nicht sehen
Nur alles das war,
Bevor es im Nebel versank

Ich möchte sie binden in ein Buch
Damit ich nicht die Einzige bin, die hält
An etwas, das nie jemand Anderes Bedeutung gewann
Um zu knüpfen, dann zumindest alleine,
Was uns nie verband

Verlorene Welt
Tausend Lichter
Einer Weile
Hand in Hand.

Well, Hello Demons
Thought I’d been running from you fast
Enough
Turns out I met you before, far far
In my past
Life’s never just
Now I learned to give you names

And Slowly
Seeing (in)
The Dark
The world just gains so much more
Contour
It all makes so much more
Sense
And while I see how you are everywhere
The only thing that actually changes
Is that the Lights
Shine so much more
Bright
And the only Saviour
Is Trust.

[ ]

Did she judge my friends away?
Did I ever get some sense of us? (I did, hence so hard to believe)
Me?
And not only you, they?

To all I ever set sail to
Added a taste of “you’re bound to fail”?

Did she ever actively
Wish good for me
Just let me be
Not put down and chase and investigate
and punish and stare
Let others shine
And not compare?

Or did she just do
Her best with all she knew
And all she too would lack?

They say it didn’t start with you
But can you go back?
Like, undo?

Tudo errado

Eu sou de ninguém
Sou minha e do mar
Eu me encontro com você
Mas não te encontras no meu olhar

Eu não me involvo não
Disse e se orgulhou
Se involveu com o sol e a chuva e a cor
Ela brinca, cativa
Mas se entregar (responsável)
ela nunca arriscou

Mas ai sou do vento
E da lua, e do mar
E na verdade, de tudo que possa imaginar
E prezo ao invês da posso o encontro
Me perco onde o destino não chegar

Leve e luz e não específico – te conto
Eu já fui ela
Até que o próprio espelho me falou
No meio de todo esse desapego mora medo
Prevenindo ausência até no presente
Nem minha eu sou
E se alguém me amou
Foi minha sombra, uma ideia –

Com meu eu impaciente
O que de fato sobrou?

Se aquilo que sente
É momentâneo só
E vem com poréns e parêntese

É como se estivesse tentando manter

A escultura mais bela
No meio da sala
Temporário só.

Le ton après la dissonance / dissonance consciente

Je connais ton chemin
L’espèce de voyage lequel tu empruntes là
Je connais le poids
Les larmes qui vivent beaucoup trop près de la surface
Les questions qui marchent essentiellement à côté de toi (qui te font compagnie incessante) Soit où tu doit être présent, elles y sont Et te confondent la tête Et elles jouent dans tes pensées – en essayant d’en faire quelque sens ou juste de s’occuper d’autre chose pour un instant – comme sur les cordes d’un instrument Sans arrêt Les doigts pas encore trop habitués Plutôt bruits que des sons Jouent d’une sort De chat et souris Tous les tons au même temps Et t’arrive même pas à distinguer Les accords Toutes les fois que tu crois Y tenir une mélodie Les goûts colorés d’espoirs Se mélangent aux couleurs amères de mélancolies Mêmes de ténèbres qu’on croyait pais connaître

–Crois-moi:
C’est bien là que tu dois être
Maintenant
Tu y appartiens pas
Mais peut-être
Que t’y aies perdu
Quelque part
Partie importante
De toi
Et avec du courage
De regarder dans le
(affronter ton propre)
Noir
Tu la récupéreras

Mais tu iras en re-naître
Changé à jamais
Et bien, avec ça
Très probable
Que je n’y serai plus là
Au moins pas relevante

Et quand même j’ai hâte de te connaître
De ce côté là
Et découvrir, disons,
Le ton que tu reprends
Aprés ce voyage dehors
Loin et interne
Elle qui tourne le morceau intéressant
Individuel, sincère
Mais reste risquée
Je suis sûre que tu en sors
Nouveau thème découvert
Au souffle léger
Et que de la musique en toi
Et avec la vie, en accord.

And our tears turn to stars
And float up to a sun
Shimmer gold like a phoenix’s
There our pain will be gone.

On that wonderful ball
In one faraway galaxy
We float ourselves
Without fear to fall
– Nothing weighs on you in the absence of gravity
No lack of sleep
When you’re not awake at all

In that state we’d stay
All the things we’d say
No more games we’d play
You’re not hiding your art
And I can be different every day
And still be loved.

On that planet we dream
Where both of us feel
And exist without trauma
Would you recognize me?

What if that race to that planet
I mean, can’t we just plan it
Some ball in space that we miss
Is not a place we define
But amoment intime
Shared in one kiss
And your and my minds?

Maybe, somewhere on a planet

One day
You told me
Our love is not broken
And instead we can heal

Maybe, somewhere out in space
In a place
Out of time
Our souls intertwined, we can finally be fine?

How was singing class?
Good and bad.
My voice was off from crying I bet
And then I still didn’t remember the text.

This is already half a poem. You could turn your frustration into art.

Like, write. Write it out. Don’t hide how you cried
And somehow lost some sound
Maybe only a protection
To not loose some type of ground
And remain in action
Though action means fight
Which I know is what you cried about

But maybe tonight
You trust yourself and allow
That true voice
Sometimes needs to be lost
To be found.

Será que o tempo sabe?

Como o ontem se transformou no hoje?

O poder que tem de dar um gosto amargo, pro outrora doce?

Ou porque a simples rotina, uma vez que se foram os dias,

Deixa-nos com tanta saudade?

Será que ele sabe de todos os primeiros

E últimos? De verdade?

Será que o vento sabe?

Que invejamos sua liberdade

Até sentirmos falta

Das terras por onde passou?

Será que o vento conhece?

O real significado do longe e do perto?

O valor daquilo que toca

Ou será que esquece?

Será que ele sabe de todo o certo

E aonde errou?

Das lembranças que traz com um simples som ou um gesto

E de tudo aquilo que ele levou?

E será que o amor sabe

Todas as formas que possui

Toda a força com a qual constrói

E tudo que já destruiu?

Será que eles riem da nossa cara

Como tentamos a vida

Acertamos

Erramos em seguida

valorizamos e perdemos

Tanta coisa rara?

Será que o tempo sabe?

Será que o tempo sabe

Pra onde ele andou

E o que ontem o hoje

Já significou?

A vida é o que é

Dizem que perguntar não faz bem

O passado se foi, alguma coisa restou

Se o tempo contaria, se ele soubesse, desse grande vai e vem

Não sei.

Mas sei que eu sei.

E agora você também.

A ela
A ele(s), a nós

Mais um dia 18
Quarta-feira de cinzas
Alone again?

Perguntei se o tempo sabe
Será que ele sabe?
Será que ela sabe?
Será que sabemos alguma coisa, de verdade?
Now or then.

De quoi sert tout ça ?
Était-il vraiment là ?
Combien sommes nous ?
Qui sauvera-tous ?

Et tous les mots doux
Et ta façon d’être
Et ta façon cachée
Trop trop trop de temps passé
Libertés
Passionnée
Surprenant, captivant
Passer du temps
Disparaître
Savait-tu tout ?

E sabes-tu
No meio de tantos olhares
Tanto achismo
Eu sei que olhastes no mesmo abismo
Eu sei que fostes corajosa
Menina cativante
Encanta
Cantante
Dança
Formosa
Eles acham que é pra eles você gostaria que fosse pra ti
mas enquanto eles olham difícil focar em si luto eterno de quem performa
Laisses-tu encore quìls te captivent ?
Appartiens-tu encore ou est-ce que t’existes ?
Reconnaîtreras-tu, toi aussi, ses abismes ?
On croit voir du beau même dans le noir
Difficile s’en apercevoir des masques
Une fois loin de leurs regards
On y voit du vraie si on ose
Mais ce qui sauve
Et tu le sais comme moi
C’est que l’art

Mulher quero tanto te falar
Alertar
Mas se eu errar
Também não quero estragar
Je te le laisse si tu veux
Si c’est du vrai
J’ai juste peur qu’il te blaisse
Comme il a preque fait à moi
Mas acho que tu sabes, mulher
Quem tem a coragem de ficar na sombra
Aprende a ver no escuro
Nisso somos quase irmâ
Se cuide,
Pardon, quoi qu’il ce soit.
Obrigada, contudo.

De la lumière

Il m’a dit
Pour mieux voir – voir quoi ?
Voir qui ?
À qui (faut-il encore) plaire ?
Lorsque moi je préférais rester dans les ombres
» Attends-moi là dehors »
Au moins pour l’instant
Pas pour moins voir
Même si j’aurais bien aimé pas trop en voir
De toi, juste pour le cas où ça ne correspondrait pas
au départ, j’veux dire à mes souvenirs
Parce-ce qu’il faut savoir que je peux avoir l’air nonchalante, par contre j’ai la tête dans les nuages, je m’enfuie, ça me fait plaisir parfois, de mélanger réalités avec songes
Surtout la nuit
Mais non, il est plus probable que je l’aie choisit
De te recontrer loin
De tous ces lumières pour cacher
À moi
En attendant que je ne correspondrais pas
Éblouie par le trajet derrière, mon passé avant toi
J’ai juste préféré
Fermer les paupières
Un peu
Habituée au noir.

Au final, j’avais si en pensé, jètais en
retard, on s’est rencontrés là-bas
Il manquait de l`électricité, c’était marrant
Et toi, t’étais toujours là – en m’attendant
Je l’ai clairement vu
On dirait rayonnant
Malgré ça.

Pequena valsa urbana em dia chuvoso

E quando de noite
A chuva bater
Sua fila parecer não andar
Abra seus olhos e pare pra ver
Vagalumes que dançam no ar
De gotinhas finas
Na luz dos faróis
Cristais urbanos
Pequenos sóis
Visíveis a quem ousar sonhar.

Und am Anfang stand das Wort

Und während Worte weitesgehend wertlos werden
– Was bleibt uns dann noch hier auf Erden?